"Why do I hurt just on purpose?"

i can try to move on to band number 2
but then i wonder if that further hinders the problem.
because when i hear that voice,
i'm really only hearing yours.

you've taken my life
and smashed it into millions of pieces that float around this state.

most days i think i'll never be the same
i'm the ghost version of what i used to know
i make decisions that are so unlike me
my heart seems so open and so completely closed
....to the exact opposite of what i thought i believed.

i hold my breath at least twice a day.
you live like we've never met
and i should have left well alone
when i had the upperhand

you were the first
the last
the worst
...real experience i've ever had.




you'll be the first person i'll erase
i'll make my mind spotless
just to feel some sanity
and less of you.